The Tease: Beginners Guide to BDSM Part One

Whether you are looking at the Tease in terms of BDSM or in any other type of relationship, it always comes down to one thing. The Tease is all about the promise without the delivery. What you promise will vary, of course. For a Tease to be effective, however, you have to leave your partner wanting. Here are a few ideas of ways to incorporate teasing into your BDSM play.

  • Use light sensations. The light touch can be a wonderful tease, especially if you have your partner blindfolded. Tease the erogenous zones of the body with a feather tickler, the light touch of your fingertips, soft satin, or anything else that creates a soft, smooth sensation. This will bring your partner’s body to life and leave him or her craving harder, firmer sensations. Do not deliver during the Tease session. Just continue with the softest of touches.
  • Slap a leather flogger, paddle, ruler, your hand, or other impact tool of your choice against the bed, or next to your partner. Make the strike firm and loud, much harder than you would ever actually strike the person. Immediately following this “warning shot,” strike your partner with something light and harmless. It could be the feathers of a duster or a cloth flogger. The impact of the soft object will be shocking to your partner, who expects the harder impact.
  • This is another form of the Deflection tease above and works best with temperature play, though you can do the same thing with hard and soft impact play. With temperature play, you will need ice, a body-safe candle, and a blindfold for your partner. Run the ice along the body, focusing on the erogenous zones (but not the genitals for wax). Follow up this sensation with a drip of wax from the candle, only a few, in one of the places you just ran the ice. Make it random how you choose where to apply the wax so that your partner is always guessing.
  • Get close. Temperature play is wonderful. It can also be used to tease, whether you are using ice or candle wax. Run the ice or drip the candle along the body, close to but avoiding the erogenous zones. This will create a desire in your partner for these erogenous zones to be stimulated, but you will not be delivering.
  • Bring your partner close. No tease is greater than the denial of completion. Power over your partner’s orgasm is incredible. This takes some practice, so if your partner does come, switch over to one of the other teases above until you are ready to try again. As you learn your partner’s physical signs, you will know when to reduce sexual stimulation to drive back the orgasm. Do this only a few times, and he or she will be begging to come.

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