Everyone says “I love you.” It’s the way you say it that makes all the difference and no one, no sky writers, no poets, no public proposers of marriage has ever come up with a more original offering than The Bronx Zoo. They have 58,000 Madagascar hissing cockroaches – on purpose – and for a piddling $10 you can name one after somebody your partner doesn’t like, Audubon Magazine reports. Your partner will get a card, festooned with artful insects, telling them of your gift, but I think the underlying sentiment what really counts: “I hate whoever you hate,” is one of the strongest statements of loyalty a person can make. Thank you, Bronx Zoo, for understanding that.
Also, if your partner is an erstwhile bug-o-phile, you could always name the little love bug after them.
The Zoo advises that you could name the pest after your sweetheart’s boss, teacher or least favorite talk show host. We shudder to think of the number of little hissers some politicians have named after them.
If actual roaches aren’t something you want to spend money on or if you want to further sweeten your gift you can also get a pair of dark semi-sweet chocolate Madagascar hissing cockroaches (not real roaches; they’re solid chocolate), hand-painted by Sabrina Berkowitz of The Chocolate Box in NYC. The Cocoa-Roaches are $15 – just the touch of elegance to make this a really well-rounded gift.
As if you needed any more encouragement, the money for your gift goes to the Wildlife Conservation Fund which raised nearly $60,000 last year naming bugs for the beloved. Our favorite of the names listed? “Hisssterical.”
We can’t all afford jewelry or fancy dinners, but $10 for a funny token of love is within most of our budgets – and that’s a gift in itself. Besides is there anything more romantic than sharing a good laugh?