When you think of some classic elements of a romantic evening what do you think of? No, not jumper cables, an Easter bunny costume and a copy of “Dawson’s Crack,” you kinky so-and-so. I mean classic as in a lovey-dovey mainstream kind of date. For many people wine is going to be high on the list … it’s a romantic staple, there to impress and help break the ice on the first date, to spiff up anniversaries, birthdays and Valentine’s Days, it’s even crucial wedding toast. You drink to the happy couple with champagne, not Tang.
So it makes some sense and is rather sweet that one of the most venerated and certainly the most adorable of all sex therapists, Dr. Ruth Westheimer, is putting out her own line of wines – Vin d’Amour – which has half the alcohol content of regular wines and therefore will put you in that relaxing mood without getting you so drunk you either can’t do the deed or no one will do it with you.
“I’m always saying couples should drink to relax but not too much,” Dr. Ruth told the New York Post in an interview about her new venture (and a totally worthwhile read including details about her background as a Holocaust survivor). “If (the woman) drinks too much, she falls asleep and if (the man) drinks too much, he can’t perform. It’s the same problem for gay couples.” (We’d like to add that alcohol can also have a similar effect on women’s genitals that it does for men – they don’t just fall asleep. Clitorises are made with the same erectile tissue as penises and too much alcohol can affect the ability of these tissues to maintain an erection making it very difficult for women to reach orgasm.)
Dr. Ruth’s wine has only 6% alcohol while most wines are about 13% and at $7.99 to $9.99 a bottle it’s an affordable romantic element. Another plus: part of the profits go to the Museum of Jewish Heritage.
“With this (low-alcohol) wine, I am saying: ‘Relax, but don’t do it (drink) too much.’ If sex follows or not, it doesn’t matter. It’s about finding and communicating with a significant other.” Dr. Ruth has been giving fine advice for almost the whole time I’ve been having sex so I plan on nipping into a bottle or two of Vin d’Amour but there are, of course some non-alcoholic ways of relaxation before sex, the three easiest being these:
* Music. Nothing, not even wine, can change a person’s mood faster or more effectively than music. Where would horror movies be without it? So whether it’s some acoustic Brazilian, some Marvin Gaye, or some calming New Age, your iTunes will chill you out almost as quickly as you can turn it on.
* Massage. Whether you go earlier in the day to get a massage from someone else or start out with a foot rub, back rub, or shoulder rub, that skin-to-skin contact and concentration entirely on the physical sensation – to rub and be rubbed – has a pretty high proof of it’s own.
* Heat. Whether it’s a hot bath, hot shower (together, perhaps), a sauna or a hot tub heat relaxes your muscles to the point where, ironically enough, you can’t help but chill out.
Whichever way you decide on to relax on your romantic evening … cheers!