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I attended a really fun party this weekend where by the end of the night us girls had moved to the bedroom to discuss girlie things. You know like sex, chick flicks (the funny ones, not the weepy ones), and bumblebees. At some point we started discussing masturbation using vibrators – this is of course a very normal topic for me considering I work for MyPleasure – and we realized that there were really no good euphemisms for vibrator masturbation. There are a ton of male masturbation euphemisms – choking the chicken, polishing the knob, stroking the one-eyed monster, and stabbing a cat in your lap (make this gesture and you’ll know what I’m talking about). There are a few euphemisms for female masturbation including clicking the mouse and flicking the bean, but there are no euphamisms that we could come up with that had to do with masturbating with vibrators. And hey, a lot of us ladies love vibes and we felt we needed some of our own silly terms. Being that we were somewhat inebriated, most of our own ideas were a bit ridiculous and not very accurate. That’s where y’all come in with your neverending creativity.

What are some euphemisms for female masturbation with a vibrator? Tell me ones you’ve heard or ones you’ve made up. I’ll give it to my new gal pals to mull over and decide which one is the best. First prize will win not one, but two items from this department and/or this department. You can pick whatever you want from either department with the exception of the Urja and Ultimate Romance Kit. Second place will be chosen randomly and will be awarded one item from either of the departments – also your choice.

How to enter:

  1. Leave a comment – or lots of comments – with your best euphemisms for female masturbation with a vibrator. This is a mandatory entry and will enter you into the running for first prize. Each comment is also worth one point for second prize

Optional entries for second prize:

  1. Tweet about the contest with one of your suggestions. Ex: “I like straddling the jackhammer! How about you? @My_Pleasure wants to know http://ow.ly/5iI9X” Please use your own euphemisms for this one and leave a comment with a link to your tweet. Tweets must contain our twitter name and a link to the contest. One point per day.
  2. Write a Facebook status update on your page with your suggestions and link to our Facebook page by typing “@MyPleasure” in the status (only works if you like us first). Also link to this contest. Ex: I like straddling the jackhammer! How about you? @MyPleasure wants to know http://ow.ly/5iI9X“. Comment with a link to your status update. One point per day.
  3. Follow us on Tumblr where you will also be automatically entered to win a dual action vibe every time we reach 50 new followers. Leave a comment with a link to your tumblr blog in the comments. Two points.
  4. Write a blog post with your euphemisms and a link to our contest. Leave a link to your post in the comments. Five points.
  5. Make a Youtube video spouting out euphemisms and try to keep a straight face a la Varsity BluesFive points.

Rules:

  1. You must be 18+ and a US resident.
  2. MyPleasure employees and contractors are inelligible.
  3. Contest ends 6/23/11 11:59 PM PST
  4. First prize will be determined by a vote of some ladies who really wanted a good euphemism – they are also inelligible to enter. Creativity and humor will win here.
  5. Second prize will be determined by Random.org. The more entries you make the better your chances of winning.

**Contest Now Closed**

Good luck and have fun!