A Reading of Jane Austen (While Wearing Vibrating Panties)

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Some people have visions of a peaceful world or a happy, prosperous future for their families. My dream was to try reading classic literature while wearing a remote vibrator with someone else at the controls.

Tomahto.

There’s nothing more proper than Jane Austen and nothing luckier than to have a BFF of 32 years to help you realize your dreams (ask Oprah and Gayle) so I was delighted that my friend Liz consented to flick the remote for me in this video wherein I reviewed the Astrea I cordless remote vibrator. I wanted to see how easily it could distract me from a reading of Emma.

The answer: pretty easily.

The Astrea I says that it’s a ‘vibrating brief’ on the front of the box and a ‘vibrating thong’ on the other side; I’d describe it as a panty, and a very pretty black lace one at that. The vibrator takes 2 AA batteries, is rectangular, only 2.5 inches long and fits snugly into a pocket in the crotch of the garment. There’s a discreet 3.5 inch black remote that takes a 12 volt battery (all batteries are included). Speaking of Oprah, the product is one of Dr. Laura Berman’s and comes with set of instructions, which I instantly lost (it’s not tough to figure out and there’s plenty of info on the box).

One thing I learned immediately: test the vibrator out and place it just where you like it. I thought being so small it would be best for clitorial stimulation, placed it close to the front and nearly went through the ceiling when I flicked the remote on. When you get it just where you want it to be it’s definitely relaxing and exciting, plus, when you move around with it or flex your muscles a bit you can scooch it here or there for a very different sensation (are bodies awesome?)

It occurred to me after making the video that I hadn’t tried it out solo so I did an experiment. Everyone has a household chore they hate. Mine is the dishes. There was a dreaded pile-up in the sink so I thought I’d wear the Astrea I while doing them. No exaggeration: I ended up looking for more stuff to clean and the kitchen was spotless in ten minutes. It did cut off a couple of times inexplicably but came back on again, usually with a little flex or wiggle.

The Astra I is a major success and even what I saw as the initial drawback of having only the on/off switch rather than a dial isn’t a big deal. I’m definitely going to use it again, whether it’s for other mindless household tasks or just for fun (definitely not while driving or anything that requires thinking).

Oprah and Gayle aren’t lesbians – we know, we know – but from two BFFs to two others, they should get one. Or two. We hope they have as much fun as we did.

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