By Lily Whitten
It shouldn’t have surprised me. My daughter is the most curious child I’ve ever seen and, well, I can be a bit careless in putting away my, er, Mom Toys. So the day she came and got in our bed for an early morning cuddle I shouldn’t have been so startled to suddenly find a bright pink dildo being waved in my face with my daughter saying that she loved it for being pink, and could she keep it?
I’m not at my best in the morning, and frankly, I am not sure my response was a good one. Basically I gasped, grabbed it out of her hand and said in my very best stern mommy voice, “That. Is. Mommy’s. Do. Not. Touch. EVER.” Yes, with such severe punctuation, that’s what I said. I deserve the mom of the year award, clearly. Luckily, my daughter has a very short attention span and is extremely congenial in the mornings, so she moved on to a different subject rather quickly.
Sex toys look like, well, toys. If you consider, too, that some children’s shows (such as the infamous Yo Gabba Gabba) have characters that kind of look like sex toys (no, really, they do), it’s not that much of a shock that a small child would assume, “Toy!” when they first come across your vibrator. This presents a challenge as a parent. You don’t want to say anything that creates an air of embarrassment or shame around a sex toy; obviously, using sex toys can be an excellent extension of a happy sex life. Personally, when you are talking about small children under age five, it’s best to simply say, “That’s my toy, and it’s private, thank you.” For older children, well, it might be time to brush up on what you plan to say about sex in general before discussing it.
Besides, there are worse things than your child finding your dildo. A friend was hanging out in her living room with her mother-in-law when her son raced into the room waving around her vibrator. While it was turned ON, so it was buzzing away. It’s bad enough to have to explain your toys to your children; imagine having to also explain to your disapproving, conservative mother in law?
The simple resolution? Get a box. That locks. A locking toy box is a simple thing to store under the bed or next to the bed or wherever it is you’d like to have your sex toys handy. While perhaps a locking sex toy box will cause extreme curiosity in your teenagers, it will happily eliminate the ever-searching busy hands of the preschool set. If you don’t have a box, well, I’d start planning your responses now. Because if you have sex toys and you have kids? They WILL be found. I promise.
About the author:
Lily Whitten is a devoted mother and wife who agreed to share her story with MyPleasure.
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