By Lori Buckley, Psy.D., CST
When you think of Valentines Day, do you feel pressured to make it perfect, obligated to do something you don’t want to do, resentment for all the disappointments from Valentines past, or excited to celebrate and enjoy this day of love? Whether you dread or look forward to Valentines Day, there are three to keep in mind to make this heart day a success.
Keep it simple
When thinking about where to go or what to buy, you can almost never go wrong with sticking to the basics. Rather than going out for a fancy, expensive meal. Create a sensual meal at home. You can cook for your partner, plan and prepare the meal together or order in. Keep the food easy, simple and light to keep the focus on what’s really important…each other. Besides, sex on a full belly is rarely ideal.
Instead of a store bought card, write a love letter. It takes more time and thought, but that’s what makes it special. While a fancy heart box filled with wonderful chocolate is nice, it doesn’t last. A sex toy is a gift that keeps on giving. And flowers on Valentines Day are overpriced and boring.
Make it fun
Think of ways you can surprise your partner and add some fun into your relationship and your sex life. Have a scavenger hunt, a picnic in bed, or act out a fantasy. Create a couple’s bucket list together, listing all the things you’d like to do together. Play a sex game or try a new sex toy or two. You can even watch your favorite love or porn films.
Make it last
If you’re feeling so disconnected that the things listed above seem undesirable or impossible, now is a good time to make a change. Move on or decide and declare to make everyday Valentines Day, to celebrate love and be a lover everyday of the year. Your relationship can only be as good as you’re willing to make it. Show your partner how much you care by celebrating this day of love and beyond.
About Lori Buckley
Dr. Lori Buckley is a licensed psychologist (PSY20447), AASECT certified sex therapist, speaker, host, columnist and educator. She has a private practice in Pasadena, CA. Listen to Dr. Lori’s new radio show Sex, Love & Food to get more great tips!