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Question

Is it okay to have sex during the third trimester of pregnancy? God knows, I want to!!!

Answer

Pregnancy and the changes in hormone levels definitely affect a woman’s sexual feelings, libido and activities. Although some women have a decrease in sexual desire, others, such as yourself, find that they have the same, or an even greater, level of desire. Studies have shown that the rates of activities such as oral sex and masturbation don’t generally decline until the last month of pregnancy.

As the pregnancy advances, many women find that avoiding pressure on the abdomen and using shallower penetration during intercourse make sex more enjoyable. Even if intercourse is not possible or comfortable, however, other activities such as cunnilingus or masturbation (alone or with a partner) can still be intensely pleasurable. There are no hard and fast rules about sex during pregnancy. Although some positions may be uncomfortable or difficult, this is a great time to share and experiment with new ways of sexual (and nonsexual) expression.

All that said, you should observe the following:

  • Avoid extreme pressure on the abdomen, especially during the final months of pregnancy.
  • If you have had a prior miscarriage, you should consult with your doctor about not only intercourse, but the possible risks of any activity that might lead to orgasm.
  • If intercourse causes pain that is not helped by changing position, you should avoid it.
  • If there is any bleeding from the vagina, or your cervix has started to dilate, you should refrain from intercourse and see your physician or midwife immediately.

Finally, you should know that orgasm often causes uterine contractions (whether you are pregnant or not). Some medical professionals believe that late in pregnancy these uterine contractions can cause your water to break and thus hasten labor. This is not usually a problem, but you might want to discuss it with your health care professional.

Almost all authorities agree that given a normal, healthy pregnancy, intercourse can be continued until well into the third trimester. (See the article by Dr. Linda Mona on sex, vibrators and pregnancy for more information on this subject.) Individuals with any special health concerns or issues should talk with their doctor to receive clear information about any sexual activity restrictions during your pregnancy. If you are in fact put on restriction, use that time to share and perhaps experience entirely new ways to connect with your partner and yourself!

Best,
Dr. Sandor Gardos signature

Dr. Sandor Gardos

MyPleasure provides up-to-date and useful sexual education materials in combination with a store that allows people to buy, try, and learn about new aspects of sexuality. We believe everybody deserves a great sex life.

Have a question you’d like answered? Email AsktheDoctor@mypleasure.com

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We’re so excited about the JimmyJane Form 3 and we wish we could give everyone one just to see how fun and innovative it is. Unfortunately that’s just not possible if we want to stay in business. But we can give one away to one extremely lucky person.

This sex toy is perfect for couples who want to add a bit of spice to their lovemaking by combining vibrations with finger movements and pressure in a whole new way. It’s also great for using alone with it’s pinpoint accuracy that you control. It’s completely waterproof and submersible so take it in the bath with you or a romantic romp in the pool. It’s rechargeable so you don’t have to worry about batteries and it’s lockable for ease of travel. It’s just an all around amazing toy.

So in the spirit of Klondike Bars I want to know what you would do for a JimmyJane Form 3. We’re not going to actually ask you to do these things, but we want to know the lengths you would go. Get creative and have fun with it! Make us laugh. Leave a comment with your answer. Each comment will earn you one entry in the contest. You can make as many comments as you want, but they have to be creative and original (no stealing ideas from other commenters).

Other ways to earn points:

  1. Tweet about the contest daily: What would you do for a #form3? @My_Pleasure wants to know – http://om.ly/uOjV
  2. Like us on Facebook and then write on our wall letting us know you want to win a Form3.
  3. Subscribe to our newsletter and then leave a comment here to let us know. I will verify email addresses so make sure to use a real one :)
  4. Write a blog post about why you want the Form 3 and what you would do for it making sure to link to MyPleasure and the contest blog post. Once finished, leave a comment here with a link to your blog.

Rules: Contest only open to US residents 18 and over who do not work for or are contracted under MyPleasure or Sawhorse Enterprises. Winner will be chosen at random, but the more entries into the contest you make, the better your chances.

Twitter entries are once daily ONLY. If you tweet more than once per day, you will get no entries for that day. When tweeting you must have a public account and include #form3, @My_Pleasure, and a link to the contest.

Contest ends 11:59PM PST on September 30th and the winner will be announced the following week.

**Contest is closed. A winner will be picked the first week in October. Leaving more comments on this post after the end time will not get you any more entries**

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Question

Recently, my boyfriend was on an extended business trip during which he called me often. During one of these calls, he mentioned how horny he was and that he wanted to have phone sex with me. He started talking “dirty, which was great except that I had no idea how to respond. I wasn’t sure what to say, what words to use, or how to say it. Could you give me some tips so that next time I will be better prepared. It was a lot of fun for both of us, but I want to do more on my end.

Answer

Phone sex can be a wonderful way for a couple who can’t be together to share intimate time. It is great that your boyfriend felt comfortable enough with you to try this. Since it sounds like you both enjoyed it, here are a few suggestions for next time.

1) Remember that there is no right or wrong way to “talk dirty.” That it appeals to you and your partner is all that matters.

2) Reminisce about a previous sexual experience the two of you had that you found particularly memorable.

3) Tell him what you would be doing to him right now if he was there with you and ask him what he would do to you if he he was there with you.

4) Share fantasies.

5) Pretend that he is there, and tell him what you are doing to his body and what he is doing to yours.

6) Describe what you are doing to yourself and how it feels.

7) Tell him what exactly you enjoy about having sex with him.

8) Masturbate together and just listen to the sounds of each other’s breath.

If you are looking for more suggestions and ways to get started, you might want to pick up a copy of Exhibitionism for the Shy by Carol Queen. Much luck to you. And, remember, this is supposed to be fun, so don’t make it a pressure-filled situation.
Best,
Dr. Sandor Gardos signature

Dr. Sandor Gardos

MyPleasure provides up-to-date and useful sexual education materials in combination with a store that allows people to buy, try, and learn about new aspects of sexuality. We believe everybody deserves a great sex life.

Have a question you’d like answered? Email AsktheDoctor@mypleasure.com

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We just got the JimmyJane Form 3 in and we’re super excited about it. JimmyJane never disappoints and the Form 3 is no exception. This innovative toy is sleek, sexy, and powerful. The new amplified touch feature allows you to focus the vibration where you want it. This toy is great for solo or partner play and can even go in the bath. Plus it’s rechargeable!

What more could you possibly want? A discount? Well, you’re in luck! Our Labor Day Sale going on now means you can save 20% on this brand new toy by using coupon code SAVE20 at checkout.

Amplified Touch

Get it first at MyPleasure!

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Prostate play is getting a lot of attention (as are, hopefully, the prostates themselves), but they’re still hidden away when it comes to our sexual education. Let’s face it – prostates are tucked away inside the body, hard to figure out for those of us that want to play with them, and unfortunately still part of the shame-based response to anal play for men. So, to keep you all well-versed on P-spots, I offer these ten facts…

  1. Prostates are the reason that semen is milky white. The fluid that is secreted by the prostate makes up about 30% of the entire ejaculate, and is white in color. It also helps makes the ejaculatory fluid more alkaline, to combat the acidity of vaginal fluid and help the sperm make it to their final objective – the egg.
  2. The word “Prostate” comes from the Greek word prostates, which means “to protect or stand guard over”. What’s it protecting? The bladder, perhaps, as it’s at the base of the bladder where the urethra begins.
  3. Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia, or BPH for short, is a disease of the prostate that affects older men. In it, the prostate swells and narrows the outlet to the urethra from the bladder, causing an increase in frequency of urination. There is some evidence that suggests that regular orgasms (including masturbatory ejaculation) may help prevent BPH. Just one more reason for you to stay at home, surfing the ‘net!
  4. Some men orgasm solely from prostate stimulation. In fact, some men say that they’d prefer to NOT have any penile stimulation when they’re enjoying their prostates…it can distract them from the experience of pleasure by changing the focus to a different part of the anatomy.
  5. The prostate is not the size of a walnut. It’s actually the size of a lemon! We often think of it as just on the dorsal (back-wards) side of the body, but actually it fully surrounds the urethra at the base of the bladder.
  6. Prostate cancer can be a scary diagnosis to hear – however, we’re lucky that there are blood tests that your doctor can perform during your annual checkups to help diagnose (and treat!) prostate cancers earlier than ever. And with prostate cancer, early detection and treatment make a tremendous difference in quality of life (and quality of sex life) after diagnosis!
  7. Prostate play shouldn’t actually hurt – if it does, crank back on the pressure and see how it feels. If it’s still painful, it’s time to go to the doctor – it may be a sign of Prostatitis, an inflammation of the prostate itself which is almost always easily treatable by medication. If you end up with a diagnosis of Acute Prostatitis, it’s also important to avoid pressure on the prostate until it’s completely treated, to keep the inflammation from spreading outside of the prostate itself.
  8. There really is a Female Prostate – it’s the Skene’s Gland, which is located in the region of the G-Spot and may have as much to do with female ejaculation as the male prostate has to do with male ejaculation! And the similarities don’t end there – many men share experiences of pleasure during prostate stimulation that are similar to what women report during G-spot stimulation.
  9. Prostate and G-spot sex toys can often be interchanged – the “come here” curve of a finger probing for both is the same, and as long as the girth of the toy can be accommodated and it’s appropriate for anal use, don’t let the label distract you from enjoying it!
  10. The trick to using a prostate massager, like the Aneros, is to insert it with plenty of lube and use your PC muscles to “rock” it while you’re wearing it. Slip it in, sit back, and squeeze & release your pelvic muscles in all sorts of ways to find out what works best for you. You’ll have a shooting good time – I promise!



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If you’ve played with the old fashioned sex dice you know that they can be fun for a short period of time, but then they get old fast. The same options come up over and over again. Some of the options seem almost nonsensical, like when you are asked to blow on someone’s lips. Sure, you could make that sexy, but the image I get is literally blowing on someone’s lips like you were trying to blowout the candles on a birthday cake. I guess “seductively breathe on” was a little too much to put on one side of a di.

There are other options of naughty dice that you can get. I’ve seen ones that are specific to fetishists, to playing with a penis or pussy, ones for chocolate lovers, ones that glow in the dark, and ones in different languages. But who really wants to have that many different sets of dice laying around (or pay for that many)? And maybe it would actually be even more fun to make your own sex dice that play more to what you and your partner enjoy.

Great news! Here at MyPleasure we’ve made a sex dice app that lets you do all that and more. I gotta say, I was a little skeptical at first – I’ve played with the original: “eat ear”? Really!?!- but once I tried it out I realized how different, innovative, and fun the app really is compared to the traditional dice. The playfulness is still there, but the options are endless.

Still don’t believe me? Check out these video demos on an iPhone (don’t worry, we have the app for Android users as well!):

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No matter how long you’ve been out of school you spent enough Septembers in your formative years preparing to go back that when that month rolls around it’s easy to get into the learning spirit. When you’re all grown up, though, one thing you don’t know as much about as you’d like is yourself: what gives you pleasure, what you like, what you don’t and how to find it, independently or with your partner. 

The adult toy industry is wonderfully and dizzyingly varied. Compared with the limited choices we once had (‘this one vibrates; this one doesn’t’), there’s enough stuff out there that could make even a seasoned buyer swoon. Choice is a great thing, of course, but you want to make sure you’re getting what you want – what you really, really want. So in the back-to-school spirit here are a few tips to help you decide what that is.

  • Body focus: Everyone’s pleasure zones are different. Before you decide on a toy because ‘it has so many buttons it must be good,’ or ‘it’s a bestseller so I’m sure I’ll like it,’ think about what you want. The humblest little bullet can be your ticket to heaven so consider what’s really your pleasure– size? external stimulation? breast play? – before you plunk down your hard-earned cash.
  • Feel it: Even if you prefer to buy online, sometimes it’s good to go into an adult store just to check out the materials and vibrating power of some of the toys. If you’re an inexperienced buyer how will you really know if you like the texture of a product – jelly? Realistic rubber? hard plastic? – unless you’ve felt it? There’s no harm in asking questions, either: even if you’re not buying, the staff is there to help and if it’s a good store they know as much about these products as the manufacturers do.
  • Use us: We want to be used! Seriously, how much easier would shopping be if you could always have an expert with you to listen to your desires and tailor a selection for you? Fancy stores have personal shoppers and now we, do, too…and a doctor, no less! Dr. Sandor Gardos, sex therapist and founder of MyPleasure, can be your guide through our Shopping with Sandor page. Answer a few quick, multiple-choice questions about your preferences and you’ll get a selection of products customized to your needs, getting rid of that overwhelmed “There’s too much to look at!” feeling. All the toys have all been approved by Dr. Gardos, so you can be assured of quality. It’s a fun feature, too – even if you haven’t thought about buying, say, a product for anal stimulation, this pares down the selection to what would be right for you so that when you’re ready for a new sensation you’ll have an idea of what’s available.

 Welcome back to the school year! Isn’t adult education just the best?

Image courtesty of The US National Archives

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