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Posts Tagged ‘oral sex’

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Question

Recently my boyfriend and I were having oral sex. After performing it on him, he ejaculated in my mouth, I swallowed and then we kissed. Afterwards, he performed oral sex on me. Is there any chance of me getting pregnant this way? Thank you.

Answer

Does the expression “a snowball’s chance in hell” mean anything to you? As I have explained before, it is not THAT easy to get pregnant. Unless you swapped semen during your kiss and then he immediately went down on you, it is all but impossible to get pregnant this way. Given that I don’t feel like being sued, let me just say that it is not totally impossible, just that it has never been reported in the medical literature. In fact, having mutual oral sex is a great form of birth control. So, relax and enjoy.

Best,
Dr. Sandor Gardos signature

Dr. Sandor Gardos

MyPleasure provides up-to-date and useful sexual education materials in combination with a store that allows people to buy, try, and learn about new aspects of sexuality. We believe everybody deserves a great sex life.

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A recent story in in Men’s Health magazine, What Every Woman Wants surveyed 1400 women and compared their sexual desires according to their ages – who wanted what in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s. Having been all these ages (well, only part way through the 40’s) I thought it neatly outlined the qualities of each – the friends-and-fun 20’s, the rich, diversified 30’s and the relaxed confidence of the 40’s, all things to either look forward to or happily reflect on, depending on where you are.

One commonality between all three generations, however, was underscored by author Carolyn Kystra the end of the story:

“Women of all ages in our survey said they want more oral sex performed on them,” she writes. Some of their tips” Use your fingers as well as your tongue,” advises Rose, 41. Laina, 40, wants a delicate touch, “Nibble my thighs and be gentle on the clitoris.” Larisa, 41, adds “Clearly enjoy what you’re doing. Being hesitant is a turnoff; a rejection of the most intimate part of me.”

I heartily agree with Larisa, especially: it’s a huge turn on to have a partner say “I want to know exactly what you want,” and then do it, with feeling. Since the statement was one of desire for “more” not “better,” though, the problem, doesn’t seem to be one of technique so much as one of participation: The chef might make a helluva cherries jubilee but if you can’t get him in the kitchen, what difference does it make?

I’m concerned this might sound a little flip or cynical but I’m convinced that the key to getting more of what you’d like in this arena from your partner is to try one of three things: Ask “Will you go down on me?” Say, “I love it when you down on me,” or dispense with the frills and take the direct line: “Go down on me.” You can whisper it, shout it, send it in a text or write it on a cake but the best approach to getting what you desire is asking for it.

I can confidently say that I’ve never known anyone who prefers sex with women to refuse this request: it’s a tricky area for many people and they’re usually thrilled to find out they’re doing something right enough that you want more of it. And once you’ve asked you’ve opened the door to asking for specifics, like the ones Rose, Laina and Larisa gave.

On the other hand, if they’re happy to hear you want more lip service their enthusiasm alone might find them freestyling their way into doing things you didn’t even know you liked yet (not following directions is, after all, how you find new recipes). It could be a good time to let them run with your request and see what they come up with.

Would I could say there was some cute trick or clever list of tips to follow, but the only magic you need is communication. The best way to get your needs met is, quite seriously, by stating them.

*Want to learn how to better please the woman in your life? Try How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure by Lou Paget*

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Question:

I’ve heard something about using or eating an Altoid before oral sex. What is that all about? If you know please tell me! Thank you for your time.

Answer:

There are many urban myths related to sex, but this is one of the few that happens to be somewhat true. Altoids really do create an interesting sensation during oral sex. Though these mints have been around forever, stories are now being widely circulated about their supposedly miraculous powers to enhance oral sex. I have even read reports that entire towns have been sold out following a story on the radio.

What you need to understand is that certain substances (such as BenGay) penetrate the skin to create sensations of warmth or cold. Mucous membranes, such as the genitals, allow these substances to penetrate more strongly. Thus, these items create a tingle and a sensation of hot or cold depending on… uh… what the giver is doing or how he or she is breathing. Because Altoids are stronger than most mints (and made with real peppermint oil), they have a more pronounced effect. MyPleasure also carries other edible sex toys, such as Strawberry Nipple Nibblers, and Lover’s Arousal Gel that work similarly.

The trick is to put a couple in your mouth and suck on them until they are almost dissolved, then go down on your partner. If you do a warm exhale it will create one type of sensation, while a cool blow or inhale will create another. Luckily, it works just as well on both men and women. Give it a try with your partner and see what they think. Happy experimenting!

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