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Considering the fact that there is probably just as much if not more masturbation going on in the world at any given moment as there is partner sex it’s kind of surprising that there really aren’t nearly as many songs celebrating how much we love ourselves as there are how hung up we are on others. Maybe it’s because others play harder to get with us than we ever do, thus driving us inexorably to poetry.

That said, the songs that do exist about onanism are doozies and since May is Masturbation Month (do they make cards for that?) here are our Top Five songs of sheer self-pleasure. So make a playlist, turn the lights down and have yourself a ball (or whatever’s handy).

She-Bop by Cyndi Lauper. Definitely the most famous, incontestably the cutest, this song, containing the lyrics “I’ve been thinking of a new sensation / I’m picking up good vibrations” made it to the final coveted spot of the Parent Music Resource Center’s “Filthy Fifteen” in 1985, songs the PMRC recommended be banned.

I Touch Myself by the Divynls Well, it doesn’t get more direct than that, does it? No euphemisms for the stunning Christina Amphlett who sang “I don’t want anybody else. When I think about you I touch myself.” We love a girl who comes right to the heart of the matter.

Doing Laundry by Nerf Herder. Okay, maybe it does get more direct with this one from pop punks Nerf Herder singing “I was thinking of you when I jerked off into my sock last night.” It’s short and sweet – heck, nothing wrong with a quickie, Captain Solo.

Dancing with Myself by Billy Idol. The best part about this notoriously masturbatory song is that he’s using his own reflection for inspiration. It’s a very different take on the whole “Man in the Mirror” concept than the one Michael Jackson had, huh?

My Ding-a-ling by Chuck Berry. As many times as we’ve heard this song it was the jaunty hook imprinted forever on our pop culture memories and not really the lyrics that include “When I was a little boy in Grammar school / Always went by the very best rule . But every time the bell would ring / You’d catch me playing with my ding-a-ling.”

Just goes to show that when it comes to this sort of stuff an oldie can still be a very very goodie.

Are there any songs that make you want to touch yourself?

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Question

I’m 72 and I still masturbate. My wife died about a year ago and I now masturbate more often than ever (about three to four times a week). Is this normal?


Answer

Absolutely! Not only is it normal, but it is actually good for you!

Although sometimes people are under the mistaken notion that sexuality is somehow reserved for the young, in reality, sexuality is part of all of us. There is nothing wrong with masturbating at any age. In fact, studies show that, barring serious health conditions, rates of masturbation do not really decline until people reach their 90s.

In your case, I can certainly understand how you might want to masturbate more now that your wife is no longer with you. This is not something to be ashamed of. As I said before, it is even downright healthy! It has been speculated that frequent ejaculations can help keep the prostate healthy, which becomes more of a concern as men become older. So all I can say is: Keep it up!

Best,
Dr. Sandor Gardos signature

MyPleasure provides up-to-date and useful sexual education materials in combination with a store that allows people to buy, try, and learn about new aspects of sexuality. We believe everybody deserves a great sex life.

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Question

I am a married woman, 39 years old, and have been married for ten years. My question is: Do most men and women continue to masturbate even after marriage? I have done so and just wanted to know if this is the norm.

Answer

There is absolutely no reason to feel guilty for masturbating even though you are married. Most men and women do indeed continue to masturbate when they are in a relationship, and it does not mean that there is anything wrong. In fact, research shows that those people who masturbate more also have more (and more satisfying) sex.

People have sex, as well as masturbate, for all sorts of reasons. Often men and women feel like having an orgasm or pleasuring themselves as a quick stress reliever, as a “pick-me-up”, or just because they are very aroused but don’t want to go through the whole process of sex. Many couples masturbate together because it is a very intimate sexual experience — this is sometimes referred to as mutual masturbation. Masturbating “together” is practiced by couples during phone sex and cyber sex when they can’t be together.

Masturbating is also a great way to learn about your own body, which invariably makes for better sex with a partner. Men can use masturbation as a way to learn how to control their orgasms, while women can learn how to have orgasms more easily.

Sometimes people feel that if everything was perfect in a sexual relationship, then neither partner would “need” to masturbate. Nothing could be further from the truth. Simply put, good sex begets more good sex — in all its forms. In fact, many couples masturbate together and find it a very enjoyable part of their relationship. Honestly, there is no need to feel guilty. Listen to the good doctor: Masturbation is good for you!

Best,
Dr. Sandor Gardos signature
Dr. Sandor Gardos

MyPleasure provides up-to-date and useful sexual education materials in combination with a store that allows people to buy, try, and learn about new aspects of sexuality. We believe everybody deserves a great sex life.
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Question

This is an embarrassing question to ask. I am a woman who just started masturbating around three months ago. I never was interested in masturbating as a teenager and here at the age of 25, I am really enjoying pleasuring myself. I have found myself masturbating once a day and sometimes even twice a day. Now I’m beginning to wonder if I’m addicted or if something is wrong with me because I enjoy doing it so much. Should I get help?

Answer

While people typically begin masturbating as children or teenagers, many women report being “late bloomers” when it comes to pleasuring themselves. That’s not surprising when you think about all of the negative messages that people have received about masturbation. Sometimes we receive these messages from our religion and other times we receive them from our family.

While we are often taught extensively about the dangers and consequences of having sex, we are rarely educated about the importance of sexual pleasure. Touching ourselves feels good, but for some reason, the act of masturbation has received a bad rap.

Masturbating once or twice a day does not signal to me that you are addicted to or out of control of this activity. Different people have different sex drives and thus may act on those urges accordingly. If you told me that you were masturbating all day long and that you were unable to fulfill daily responsibilities (e.g., going to school, work, caring for your family), then I would suggest that you talk with a counselor or therapist. If your masturbation frequency is not interfering with your daily life, I would not worry about it.

Enjoy pleasuring yourself and know that most people do the same thing!

Best,
Dr. Sandor Gardos signature
Dr. Sandor Gardos

MyPleasure provides up-to-date and useful sexual education materials in combination with a store that allows people to buy, try, and learn about new aspects of sexuality. We believe everybody deserves a great sex life.
submit your question

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I attended a really fun party this weekend where by the end of the night us girls had moved to the bedroom to discuss girlie things. You know like sex, chick flicks (the funny ones, not the weepy ones), and bumblebees. At some point we started discussing masturbation using vibrators – this is of course a very normal topic for me considering I work for MyPleasure – and we realized that there were really no good euphemisms for vibrator masturbation. There are a ton of male masturbation euphemisms – choking the chicken, polishing the knob, stroking the one-eyed monster, and stabbing a cat in your lap (make this gesture and you’ll know what I’m talking about). There are a few euphemisms for female masturbation including clicking the mouse and flicking the bean, but there are no euphamisms that we could come up with that had to do with masturbating with vibrators. And hey, a lot of us ladies love vibes and we felt we needed some of our own silly terms. Being that we were somewhat inebriated, most of our own ideas were a bit ridiculous and not very accurate. That’s where y’all come in with your neverending creativity.

What are some euphemisms for female masturbation with a vibrator? Tell me ones you’ve heard or ones you’ve made up. I’ll give it to my new gal pals to mull over and decide which one is the best. First prize will win not one, but two items from this department and/or this department. You can pick whatever you want from either department with the exception of the Urja and Ultimate Romance Kit. Second place will be chosen randomly and will be awarded one item from either of the departments – also your choice.

How to enter:

  1. Leave a comment – or lots of comments – with your best euphemisms for female masturbation with a vibrator. This is a mandatory entry and will enter you into the running for first prize. Each comment is also worth one point for second prize

Optional entries for second prize:

  1. Tweet about the contest with one of your suggestions. Ex: “I like straddling the jackhammer! How about you? @My_Pleasure wants to know http://ow.ly/5iI9X” Please use your own euphemisms for this one and leave a comment with a link to your tweet. Tweets must contain our twitter name and a link to the contest. One point per day.
  2. Write a Facebook status update on your page with your suggestions and link to our Facebook page by typing “@MyPleasure” in the status (only works if you like us first). Also link to this contest. Ex: I like straddling the jackhammer! How about you? @MyPleasure wants to know http://ow.ly/5iI9X“. Comment with a link to your status update. One point per day.
  3. Follow us on Tumblr where you will also be automatically entered to win a dual action vibe every time we reach 50 new followers. Leave a comment with a link to your tumblr blog in the comments. Two points.
  4. Write a blog post with your euphemisms and a link to our contest. Leave a link to your post in the comments. Five points.
  5. Make a Youtube video spouting out euphemisms and try to keep a straight face a la Varsity BluesFive points.

Rules:

  1. You must be 18+ and a US resident.
  2. MyPleasure employees and contractors are inelligible.
  3. Contest ends 6/23/11 11:59 PM PST
  4. First prize will be determined by a vote of some ladies who really wanted a good euphemism – they are also inelligible to enter. Creativity and humor will win here.
  5. Second prize will be determined by Random.org. The more entries you make the better your chances of winning.

**Contest Now Closed**

Good luck and have fun!

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Jerking off, self pleasuring, beating around the bush, letting your fingers do the walking, answering the bone-o-phone. A euphemism by any other name is masturbation.

May is National Masturbation Month. When I found that out, I got to thinking about how uncomfortable our society is with masturbation. I’ve never really understood why. Don’t get me wrong, I certainly agree it is something that shouldn’t be done on the public thoroughfare, but I don’t see why people freak out with the idea of people doing it in private.

Let’s everyone say it all together,”Masturbation is a normal, healthy sexual behavior and there is nothing wrong with doing it!” Say it loud and proud! For someone with no sexual partner, masturbation may be their only sexual activity and outlet.

Masturbation is good for you! Some of the health benefits of masturbation include:

  • Better sleep. Masturbation relaxes you and helps you fall asleep easier.
  • Better mood. Endorphins are released when we masturbate just like when we have sex. We feel better from our “endorphin high.”
  • Reduced risk of prostate cancer and infections. Men who masturbate regularly have been shown to have a reduced risk of prostate cancer. The theory that “cleaning out the pipes” on a regular basis helps keep the prostate healthy.
  • Keeping the genitals in shape. Women who masturbate regularly are helping to keep their vaginal muscles toned. This is especially important as we age and the vaginal area becomes less supple. It also helps reduce pain with intercourse and vaginal dryness.
  •  Stress relief. Again those magical endorphins help us by reducing and relieving stress.
  • Building up pelvic floor muscles. This in turn leads to better, more pleasurable sex.
  • No risk of pregnancy.
  • No risk of HIV or STD transmission.

Perhaps one of the biggest benefits of masturbation is that it shows us that we are not dependent on another person for our sexual pleasure. It reinforces the bold truth that we are in control of our sex lives and pleasure by validating that whether or not we have a partner, we do not have to live without being sexual. This reason alone makes National Masturbation Month worth celebrating.

During the month of May while we are celebrating our sexual selves and our ability to self pleasure, I would challenge those of you who have been taught that your body or genitals are dirty or bad, that you shouldn’t touch yourself and if you do you should be filled with guilt and shame to embrace yourself and celebrate your sexuality. Shake off those shackles that people have been dragging around attached to their penises and vulvas for thousands of years and set yourself free. If you do, I bet you will want every month to be National Masturbation Month!

Image via: Masters & My Johnson

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We think you should be doing it all the time, but May is the specific month when we celebrate masturbation in hopes of trying to normalize it. Good Vibrations, a feminist sex shop based out of San Francisco, started Masturbation month back in 1995 in response to the firing of Jocelyn Elders, surgeon general under the Clinton administration, for suggesting that we teach children about masturbation in school because it is the safest form of sex.

Masturbation is a healthy, normal activity that should not be shamed, but enjoyed. Help to normalize self-pleasuring by being open about masturbation with those you care about. Teach your children that it is a healthy activity that is best done in private. And above all, have fun when you masturbate. Just like sex with a longterm partner, masturbation can sometimes use a little spicing up as well. Re-discover yourself and your turn-ons.

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