Considering the fact that there is probably just as much if not more masturbation going on in the world at any given moment as there is partner sex it’s kind of surprising that there really aren’t nearly as many songs celebrating how much we love ourselves as there are how hung up we are on others. Maybe it’s because others play harder to get with us than we ever do, thus driving us inexorably to poetry.

That said, the songs that do exist about onanism are doozies and since May is Masturbation Month (do they make cards for that?) here are our Top Five songs of sheer self-pleasure. So make a playlist, turn the lights down and have yourself a ball (or whatever’s handy).

She-Bop by Cyndi Lauper. Definitely the most famous, incontestably the cutest, this song, containing the lyrics “I’ve been thinking of a new sensation / I’m picking up good vibrations” made it to the final coveted spot of the Parent Music Resource Center’s “Filthy Fifteen” in 1985, songs the PMRC recommended be banned.

I Touch Myself by the Divynls Well, it doesn’t get more direct than that, does it? No euphemisms for the stunning Christina Amphlett who sang “I don’t want anybody else. When I think about you I touch myself.” We love a girl who comes right to the heart of the matter.

Doing Laundry by Nerf Herder. Okay, maybe it does get more direct with this one from pop punks Nerf Herder singing “I was thinking of you when I jerked off into my sock last night.” It’s short and sweet – heck, nothing wrong with a quickie, Captain Solo.

Dancing with Myself by Billy Idol. The best part about this notoriously masturbatory song is that he’s using his own reflection for inspiration. It’s a very different take on the whole “Man in the Mirror” concept than the one Michael Jackson had, huh?

My Ding-a-ling by Chuck Berry. As many times as we’ve heard this song it was the jaunty hook imprinted forever on our pop culture memories and not really the lyrics that include “When I was a little boy in Grammar school / Always went by the very best rule . But every time the bell would ring / You’d catch me playing with my ding-a-ling.”

Just goes to show that when it comes to this sort of stuff an oldie can still be a very very goodie.

Are there any songs that make you want to touch yourself?

Question

I’m 72 and I still masturbate. My wife died about a year ago and I now masturbate more often than ever (about three to four times a week). Is this normal?

Answer

Absolutely! Not only is it normal, but it is actually good for you!

Although sometimes people are under the mistaken notion that sexuality is somehow reserved for the young, in reality, sexuality is part of all of us. There is nothing wrong with masturbating at any age. In fact, studies show that, barring serious health conditions, rates of masturbation do not really decline until people reach their 90s.

In your case, I can certainly understand how you might want to masturbate more now that your wife is no longer with you. This is not something to be ashamed of. As I said before, it is even downright healthy! It has been speculated that frequent ejaculations can help keep the prostate healthy, which becomes more of a concern as men become older. So all I can say is: Keep it up!

Best,

MyPleasure provides up-to-date and useful sexual education materials in combination with a store that allows people to buy, try, and learn about new aspects of sexuality. We believe everybody deserves a great sex life.

According to our culture, once a woman becomes a mother she is no longer a sexual being. This never made a whole lot of sense to me considering there’s a pretty darn good chance that in order to become a mother she had sex. And she probably did it more than once.

So this Mother’s Day we want to celebrate all of the sexy mamas in the world. Not sure what to get your favorite sexy mama?

Get your favorite gal pal mom a vibrator to help relax her after one of those really stressful days with the kids. We recommend Luxe Rejuvenate. It’s a good quality clitoral vibe that fits comfortably in the palm of your hand and has several vibration speeds and pulsations sure to satisfy any picky mom. Plus, the toy is pretty and discreet making it a classy gift she’s sure to use instead of a gag gift she’ll toss out of embarrassment. This toy is even waterproof for easy cleanup which is more than we can say for the kids.

Get the mother of your children or your significant other mom a couple’s sex toy. We recommend the WeVibe III because it enhances all types of sex play with vibrations for both you and her. Plus, it’s made of medical grade silicone which means that it won’t cause allergic reactions for even the most sensitive moms. And the new version is stronger than ever, waterproof, and can be controlled via remote making it easier to enjoy sexy times without any interruptions.

We know that buying sex toys for your own mom can be a little … awkward. But we carry plenty of other products that can make your mom feel celebrated and her sexuality not ignored. Get her something from our massage or bath department. We recommend the Romantic Spa Set which can really be used by either single or coupled moms to unwind and reinvigorate after a tough day. The set includes candles to set the mood; bubble bath, loofah, and coconut scoop for a relaxing sensual bath; and massage cream and acrylic massager to melt away the aches.

And don’t forget yourself! Who said you can’t buy yourself presents on Mother’s Day? After all, you deserve it. Get yourself something really special from our Women’s Luxury Toys department. We recommend 24K Double Pleasure because you work hard and you deserve twice as much pleasure. This glass dildo is truly a work of art that will take care of you for a lifetime if you take care of it.

Want more Mother’s Day gift ideas? Head over to our Mother’s Day Department and take $5 off each product when you use the promo code MOM at checkout through Sunday.

Sometimes it might feel like there are no taboos left in the world but that’s not true: old people having sex. That’s taboo. Nobody wants to think about grandma or grandpa or both having any of the kind of fun it took to turn them into parents and then grandparents. Our culture tends to infantilize the elderly. Once your hair turns sufficiently gray, it seems, you suddenly are no longer a sexual creature.

Probably the coolest PSA of all time is setting out to change all that. It’s from the group SaferSexforSeniors.org, and will have you thinking of the old couple next door very differently next time you see them. The simple, eloquent video showing elderly couples in kama sutra poses … clothed, yes, but certainly more limber than you might have given them credit for, what with all the doggie style, wheelbarrowing and faux fellatio we’ve got going on here. After you look at all these ways to do it you read the tagline: “There’s only one way to do it safely: with a condom.”

Fast Company’s Joe Berkowitz spoke to Matt Eastwood of the DDB New York, the company that made the ad. Seniors, he said, are simply not used to the idea of condoms, which is a serious business because the STD rate in Florida alone went up 62% in seniors from 2005-2009.  Families and physicians don’t want to talk about safe sex with seniors.

Viagra has changed the senior landscape in that men who might not be “up” to looking for sex in their older age are looking for it these days … but neither party might be on the lookout for their health. Sometimes newly single seniors, who came of age when condoms weren’t  for STDs, but for birth control, figure they don’t need them.

They may also think that STDs are a young people’s disease and assume, like many young people do, that it won’t happen to them.

“Our goal was to make the under-discussed impossible not to discuss,” Eastwood said.

Mission accomplished. After you see the video and consider the issue it’s difficult not to think about seniors in a whole new way and hopefully it will be easier for them to start talking more about this all-important issue. And when they talk (which they will) do them and yourself a favor … listen.

Welcome to our weekly wrap up of recently written sex toy reviews by our blogger friends. This is a great spot to read up on all of the items you’ve been thinking about getting, but just wanted to know someone else’s opinion first. But remember, everyone is different. Just because a reviewer loved or hated a sex toy doesn’t mean you will feel the same way. Always keep in mind what you enjoy personally when reading reviews.

Tantalizer by The Sub Mission

As we mentioned before, celebrity designed sex toys, seem to be the new trend. As sex toys become more and more mainstream we think that there will be more of a departure away from sex toys molded after a porn star’s genitals (although those will probably always exist) and more luxury sex toys designed by mainstream TV and movie stars. Sure, it seems like Jodie Foster will never design a sex toy, but Madonna or Kim Cattrall seem like natural options for the sex toy market.

When Kandi Burruss‘ line of sex toys came out we were excited. We took a look at them and they’re pretty awesome, but we had a hands down favorite: Kandi Kisses. It’s a sleek, discreet vibe that looks like a high end tube of lipstick, but unlike other lipstick vibes on the market this one has all the bells and whistles. It’s made from body healthy silicone and ABS plastic; is USB rechargeable; has 7 functions of vibration, escalation, and pulsation; and is splashproof making it easier to clean.

Buy your very own Kandi Burruss lipstick vibrator or enter to win one right here.

How to enter:

• Mandatory entry: Tell us what celeb you’d like to see designing sex toys and why. Since this is fantasy, not reality the celebrity can be living or dead. Be creative! One point for each celebrity, 1 extra point for creativity.
• Optional: Tweet about this contest once per day for one point per day. Make sure to include a link to the contest. Ex: “What celebrity do you think should design sex toys? Answer to win a luxury vibe http://ow.ly/awagL” Leave a link in the comments to each tweet for credit.
• Optional: Like us on Facebook and leave a message on our wall telling us why you want to win the Kandi Kisses vibe for 2 points. Leave a comment with a link to your post in the comments for credit
• Optional: Blog about the contest letting your readers know what celebrity you’d like to see design a sex toy and include a link in your post for 5 points. Leave a comment to your blog post for credit.

Rules:

• Contest ends 11:59 PM PST 5/2/12
• You must be 18+ and a US resident to enter. Not open to Sawhorse employees, contractors, or family members.
• The more points you earn the more entries you will receive.
• Chances of winning based on number of entries.

Good luck everyone and have fun!

CONTEST CLOSED

Welcome to our weekly wrap up of recently written sex toy reviews by our blogger friends. This is a great spot to read up on all of the items you’ve been thinking about getting, but just wanted to know someone else’s opinion first. But remember, everyone is different. Just because a reviewer loved or hated a sex toy doesn’t mean you will feel the same way. Always keep in mind what you enjoy personally when reading reviews.

Remote Rabbit review and giveaway by Boobies, Babies, and a Blog

Bwarm Massage Candle by Pixel Kitten

A new contest was just posted on SexToyDay! This month’s kit features pure luxury. The kind that slips, slides, and glides it’s way around your body. They’ve got a gorgeous, luxurious, red aluminum JimmyJane Little Chroma waterproof vibe, an amazing smelling and tasting caramel massage oil that is out of production and therefore very hard to come by, and a premium hybrid (silicone and water based mix) lube designed for a woman’s body, but can be used by anybody. This kit is valued at $170!

Enter to win free sex toys!

Studies have shown that men pick up on the subtle cues that a woman is ovulating, like changes in  her scent and  her face. You’d think a guy picking up on these subtle hints would do what he could to make himself more attractive to her. 

Interestingly there’s one case where what men do to to this end  is just the opposite of what you’d think it should be. A recent study published in the journal PLoS ONE showed that men who were talking to a woman who was in her fertile period were less likely to match her speech patterns, which is kind of interesting, since matching someone’s speech patterns is usually thought to make you seem friendly, writes Bonnie Rochman of Time Magazine who reported on the study in March…we’ve all certainly had the experience of picking up on another person’s accent or hearing someone else do it (British Madonna, anyone?)

Jacqueline Coyle an adjunct professorof human factors and systems at Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University had done research into the scent part of the attraction equation in the past and was interested to see if language played a part in the mating game as well. Her study tracked the interaction of 123 male undergrads with 5 female undergrads at different times in their menstrual cycles. The pairs were asked to describe pictures to each other with the woman using a script. When the woman was closer to ovulating the man was less likely to copy her sentence structure.  When the test was “flip-flopped” with 47 female undergrads “their fertility level did not appear to affect the degree to which they matched their conversation partner’s sentence structure. In other words, the effect seems specific to men,” Rochman writes.

The vocal mismatch, Coyle concluded “demonstrates that men may use creative or non-conforming language as a means of attracting a potential romantic partner,” in other words trying to stand out from the crowd. 

Kind of intriguing, since it suggests that even biologically being a ‘yes man,’ so to speak, is not necessarily the way to go. But in a way it makes sense: before you can impress her with what a great guy you are, she has to notice you first.

Welcome to our weekly wrap up of recently written sex toy reviews by our blogger friends. This is a great spot to read up on all of the items you’ve been thinking about getting, but just wanted to know someone else’s opinion first. But remember, everyone is different. Just because a reviewer loved or hated a sex toy doesn’t mean you will feel the same way. Always keep in mind what you enjoy personally when reading reviews.

Rub Me Bars by The Sub Mission