Size Doesn’t Matter

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Americans are obsessed with size and frankly, it’s getting a little tired. Certainly there are reasons for it – if nothing succeeds like excess then it makes sense that amplitude of everything from our cars to our breasts to our Big Gulps to our waists to our phones end up being a subject of interest or exaggeration.  There is one thing, though, the size of which I get tired of seeing attended to (besides women) and that is the penis. 

When we say that size doesn’t matter we’re not being nice. It’s just true. The penis-car comparison is made a lot, i.e., if a guy drives a Hummer he might be overcompensating for a perceived shortfall…well, the comparison works in that there’s no question that a Honda will get you where you want to go as well as an ATV….possibly more happily, depending on the driver. 

For openers, let’s take the vagina. A sensitive place, yes, but 90% of its nerve endings are right near the opening, in the first third of a space that’s 3-5 inches long. It can expand with arousal but we’re still talking about 90% of the sensitivity being at the front. If you were to go to a party and 90% of the guests were in the foyer, you probably wouldn’t have a chance to worry about getting to the backyard. 

Second, penis-vagina sex is not the only kind of sex there is. It counts, but there’s also oral, manual and there are numerous other body parts to be doted on and ways to stimulate them. The more time and chances you take to explore lots of options the more openness and trust develops and the more fun everything you do together is going to be.

If you want to experiment in seeing whether it makes any difference, there are penis enhancers that can be fun for both partners to play with and play is the important thing: remember, neither one of you should feel like it’s another job. 

Finally, the cliches are true: it’s not the length of the wand, it’s who’s waving it that counts. Once the chemistry spell has been cast (this has been my experience) they will not see the things culture has capriciously decided are flaws, even where you, as the lovee, see them in yourself. Looking at TV one could get the idea that happiness is limited to the young, beautiful and optimally-shaped but if you look at real  life you will see all kinds of people who don’t fit that mold out on dates, holding hands and otherwise unable to keep their mitts off each other. I’d be willing to bet none of them are perfect.         

So whatever you think your short comings are, remember you don’t have to be just-right, just right for that one person. Isn’t it a good bet you have a head start there already?

9 comments

  1. Thanks for writing about this. Only if people can see that they are all unique and offer something special, we would not have to worry about hummers and shiny cars…

  2. I have been married twice and each man has been different in size. My first husband was about 8 1/2″ in length and very big in girth. I never enjoyed sex with him as it was most always painful. However my second husband is smaller ( approx 6″ and medium in girth). The biggest difference is that my second husband is always finding new way for us to enjoy pleasure with each other. From just plain old screwing to oral sex ( 69) to a variety of toys. A much more wonderful sex life with my second husband. As to size, most of the time bigger is NOT better.

    Lisa

  3. I agree this debate really needs to stop. Couples can have great sex if they have an understanding of each other and what works for them. As you stated there are so many forms of sex. People kill me when they only focus on penis/sex.

  4. I had a conversation just like this, when the man asked me why I always exclaimed over how wonderful his size was. ‘I know I’m average,’ he said.
    ‘First of all,’ I told him, ‘we’re not having a pissing contest. Maybe among the boys, the biggest dick wins but when it comes to me, your size is just right. Anything bigger would hurt me and sex would not be fun–that’s biology talking, not just hot air.’
    ‘And second!’, I said, ‘its just really awesome! I don’t have one. You do. You see it all the time and probably criticize it like an old sour couple, one nagging the other for attention and the other always comparing away. If you had the chance to see it, play with it like I do, you’d be amazed, too. We aren’t porn stars and don’t want to be… so why compare us to them?’
    After that conversation, I felt like he believed me when I would show my adoration.

  5. The only problem I see with this article is what I’ve seen in reality. Ladies, guys aren’t always blind, or clueless. We can pick up on subtlety. So when a lot of my girl- friends forget that I’m in the room, and discussions of “the biggest you’ve had” come up, I can tell it’s not faces of disgust or pain they’re making at one girl’s story of the man hung like a corn cob. Yet without fail, every time this happens, when I ask, “So… size is a good thing, right?” I get the “No… it’s how you use it that’s more important” canned line. Nobody ever follows up with the, “Yeah… but provided they BOTH know how to use it, which would you prefer: vienna sausage, or kielbasa?” Neither does anybody mention that while a lot of women will confess to liking some girth, girth tends to come with length. Never see a man hung like a tuna can, do you? And the whole “too big” issue? The average length of a woman’s vagina is much longer than the average length of a man’s penis. So while there’s a few statistical outliers where men are bumping cervix, the majority fall into the ouch-free sex zone.

    Where am I going with all of this? I think this is my point: ladies, stop lying. To yourselves and to men. There are men out there unfortunate enough to be endowed with less than a little finger’s worth, and nobody ever tells stories of them with the girlfriends the day after in the same breathless “Wow!” voice you use for well-endowed lovers. Sure, they may be “motivated” or “tender” or “attentive to your needs”, but there’s that certain je ne sais quoi to your voice that’s missing. So when your boyfriend asks you, “Does size matter?” tell him the truth. Tell him yes. Then tell him his is perfect (if you give a damn about him or his feelings, that is). Because men can pick up on when you’re lying, and lying is the worst thing you can do to help anybody with an insecurity (and yes, 99% of men are insecure about their wangs). If you’ll lie about size not being important to you, how do we know you’re not lying about us being adequate, huh?

    Just my two cents worth.

  6. I’d have to disagree with you David. Yes, a very small penis might not work too well for me, but nor does an above average sized penis. When I was younger and the men I dated had less technique I liked bigger penises. As I got older I started to prefer a combo of technique and curve rather than size. In fact the best cock I ever had was below average in size but it was curved downward and perfectly hit my g-spot in doggie style. Every woman is different so some will prefer a big penis and others will prefer a smaller one. Some will prefer a straight one and others will prefer a curved one. But when it comes down to it, chemistry and technique is way more important than anything else. And if she really wants something bigger the couple can always play with dildos too.

    And there’s a lot more cervix bumping going on than you think. And some women like that and others don’t.

    I think the issue on both sides is that we’re all led to believe that bigger is better, but that’s not the experience of a lot of women.

    The point of the article was really that penis size isn’t the end all be all. It’s not as important as our culture makes it out to be.

  7. Shirley W

    I am a single woman in my late 50’s and have experienced several different men in my lifetime. My husband (X-husband and have never married again) was very huge. He was over 9″ and very thick. When we were first married I was a virgin and sex with his was very painful, and was always that way during our married life. I hate a large penis. So much discomfort and pain that sex is absolutely no pleasure. My current lover is about 5 1/2″ maybe 6″ and average girth. But wow , what a lover. He knows how to satisfy me everytime we have sex and is an expert at oral. Wish I had met him before I was ever married. So to all you who wonder about size: Average is better by far.

  8. Women get off bashing guys on their size and its pretty sick considering no guy can change their damn size.Its really hilarious when you try to justify it by claiming men like bigger boobs….thats weak and also untrue.If it doesn’t matter why in the friggin hell do female sex bloggers keep bringing it up??? Thats right because women use it as smear capital to slam men even if he’s avg in size.

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