Prostate play is getting a lot of attention (as are, hopefully, the prostates themselves), but they’re still hidden away when it comes to our sexual education. Let’s face it – prostates are tucked away inside the body, hard to figure out for those of us that want to play with them, and unfortunately still part of the shame-based response to anal play for men. So, to keep you all well-versed on P-spots, I offer these ten facts…
Prostates are the reason that semen is milky white. The fluid that is secreted by the prostate makes up about 30% of the entire ejaculate, and is white in color. It also helps makes the ejaculatory fluid more alkaline, to combat the acidity of vaginal fluid and help the sperm make it to their final objective – the egg.
The word “Prostate” comes from the Greek word prostates, which means “to protect or stand guard over”. What’s it protecting? The bladder, perhaps, as it’s at the base of the bladder where the urethra begins.
Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia, or BPH for short, is a disease of the prostate that affects older men. In it, the prostate swells and narrows the outlet to the urethra from the bladder, causing an increase in frequency of urination. There is some evidence that suggests that regular orgasms (including masturbatory ejaculation) may help prevent BPH. Just one more reason for you to stay at home, surfing the ‘net!
Some men orgasm solely from prostate stimulation. In fact, some men say that they’d prefer to NOT have any penile stimulation when they’re enjoying their prostates…it can distract them from the experience of pleasure by changing the focus to a different part of the anatomy.
The prostate is not the size of a walnut. It’s actually the size of a lemon! We often think of it as just on the dorsal (back-wards) side of the body, but actually it fully surrounds the urethra at the base of the bladder.
Prostate cancer can be a scary diagnosis to hear – however, we’re lucky that there are blood tests that your doctor can perform during your annual checkups to help diagnose (and treat!) prostate cancers earlier than ever. And with prostate cancer, early detection and treatment make a tremendous difference in quality of life (and quality of sex life) after diagnosis!
Prostate play shouldn’t actually hurt – if it does, crank back on the pressure and see how it feels. If it’s still painful, it’s time to go to the doctor – it may be a sign of Prostatitis, an inflammation of the prostate itself which is almost always easily treatable by medication. If you end up with a diagnosis of Acute Prostatitis, it’s also important to avoid pressure on the prostate until it’s completely treated, to keep the inflammation from spreading outside of the prostate itself.
There really is a Female Prostate – it’s the Skene’s Gland, which is located in the region of the G-Spot and may have as much to do with female ejaculation as the male prostate has to do with male ejaculation! And the similarities don’t end there – many men share experiences of pleasure during prostate stimulation that are similar to what women report during G-spot stimulation.
Prostate and G-spotsex toys can often be interchanged – the “come here” curve of a finger probing for both is the same, and as long as the girth of the toy can be accommodated and it’s appropriate for anal use, don’t let the label distract you from enjoying it!
The trick to using a prostate massager, like the Aneros, is to insert it with plenty of lube and use your PC muscles to “rock” it while you’re wearing it. Slip it in, sit back, and squeeze & release your pelvic muscles in all sorts of ways to find out what works best for you. You’ll have a shooting good time – I promise!
If you’ve played with the old fashioned sex dice you know that they can be fun for a short period of time, but then they get old fast. The same options come up over and over again. Some of the options seem almost nonsensical, like when you are asked to blow on someone’s lips. Sure, you could make that sexy, but the image I get is literally blowing on someone’s lips like you were trying to blowout the candles on a birthday cake. I guess “seductively breathe on” was a little too much to put on one side of a di.
There are other options of naughty dice that you can get. I’ve seen ones that are specific to fetishists, to playing with a penis or pussy, ones for chocolate lovers, ones that glow in the dark, and ones in different languages. But who really wants to have that many different sets of dice laying around (or pay for that many)? And maybe it would actually be even more fun to make your own sex dice that play more to what you and your partner enjoy.
Great news! Here at MyPleasure we’ve made a sex dice app that lets you do all that and more. I gotta say, I was a little skeptical at first – I’ve played with the original: “eat ear”? Really!?!- but once I tried it out I realized how different, innovative, and fun the app really is compared to the traditional dice. The playfulness is still there, but the options are endless.
Still don’t believe me? Check out these video demos on an iPhone (don’t worry, we have the app for Android users as well!):
No matter how long you’ve been out of school you spent enough Septembers in your formative years preparing to go back that when that month rolls around it’s easy to get into the learning spirit. When you’re all grown up, though, one thing you don’t know as much about as you’d like is yourself: what gives you pleasure, what you like, what you don’t and how to find it, independently or with your partner.
The adult toy industry is wonderfully and dizzyingly varied. Compared with the limited choices we once had (‘this one vibrates; this one doesn’t’), there’s enough stuff out there that could make even a seasoned buyer swoon. Choice is a great thing, of course, but you want to make sure you’re getting what you want – what you really, really want. So in the back-to-school spirit here are a few tips to help you decide what that is.
Body focus: Everyone’s pleasure zones are different. Before you decide on a toy because ‘it has so many buttons it must be good,’ or ‘it’s a bestseller so I’m sure I’ll like it,’ think about what you want. The humblest little bullet can be your ticket to heaven so consider what’s really your pleasure– size? external stimulation? breast play? – before you plunk down your hard-earned cash.
Feel it: Even if you prefer to buy online, sometimes it’s good to go into an adult store just to check out the materials and vibrating power of some of the toys. If you’re an inexperienced buyer how will you really know if you like the texture of a product – jelly? Realistic rubber? hard plastic? – unless you’ve felt it? There’s no harm in asking questions, either: even if you’re not buying, the staff is there to help and if it’s a good store they know as much about these products as the manufacturers do.
Use us: We want to be used! Seriously, how much easier would shopping be if you could always have an expert with you to listen to your desires and tailor a selection for you? Fancy stores have personal shoppers and now we, do, too…and a doctor, no less! Dr. Sandor Gardos, sex therapist and founder of MyPleasure, can be your guide through our Shopping with Sandor page. Answer a few quick, multiple-choice questions about your preferences and you’ll get a selection of products customized to your needs, getting rid of that overwhelmed “There’s too much to look at!” feeling. All the toys have all been approved by Dr. Gardos, so you can be assured of quality. It’s a fun feature, too – even if you haven’t thought about buying, say, a product for anal stimulation, this pares down the selection to what would be right for you so that when you’re ready for a new sensation you’ll have an idea of what’s available.
Welcome back to the school year! Isn’t adult education just the best?
My partner and I were thinking about experimentation with vibrators, but I’ve heard that they can cause loss of sensation in the female genital area with prolonged use. Is this true or are there other dangers?
Answer
Vibrators are not only not dangerous to use, they are actually the treatment of choice for women who are having difficulty reaching orgasm. They are recommended by almost every sex therapist exactly for this use. Indeed, most women not only do not find that there is a loss of sensation, but exactly the opposite: As they begin to experiment with new ways of pleasuring themselves, they learn more about their bodies and the kinds of sensations they like. This leads to more sensitivity and ease of reaching orgasm even without a vibrator.
Although it is always possible for someone to become overly dependent on any one way of masturbating or having sex, I think that normal use would not lead to such a situation.
As I have stated before, research (Davis et al., 1996) has definitively shown that the use of sex aids is not only not detrimental to an individual’s sexual functioning or satisfaction, but that, actually, those individuals who use such devices alone also have more frequent and satisfying sex with a partner.
So my suggestion is that you and your partner browse through a good vibrator catalog (like our own vibrator section) that lists both the pluses and minuses of different vibrators, and explore together without worry that using one will have harmful effects.
MyPleasure provides up-to-date and useful sexual education materials in combination with a store that allows people to buy, try, and learn about new aspects of sexuality. We believe everybody deserves a great sex life.
This tip is of special benefit for the men out there. The next time you are giving your man a little manual attention — otherwise known as a hand job — don’t just use your hand. Add a little vibration to the experience to up their excitement. You could do this in a number of ways. You might choose to apply light vibrations to the sensitive tip of his penis using a bullet vibrator or slimline vibrator in one hand while you continue to stroke with the other. You could also tickle his perineum and scrotum with a pocket rocket as you attend to him with your other hand. Finally, you might consider using a fingertip vibe like the Fukuoku 9000 on your stroking hand, using it all the way along the shaft. Whichever technique you choose, never stray from the main rule of a good hand job: use a lot of lube!
Not too long ago, anal sex play was considered an odd “fetish” and not a fun, new area to explore. In the last twenty years, however, anal has gone from an out-there preference to a standard option in many bedrooms today. It’s now really easy to get info on how to try out and enjoy anal sex. Not to mention all the awesome butt toys on the market!
So, with anal sex becoming more popular and anal specific sex toys (think butt plugs, prostate massagers, and anal beads) becoming more socially acceptable – where do you think the most anal toys are sold? Here is a hint: it is not where you think.
…
Okay. Ready? Are you sitting down? Because…
…It is ALASKA.
Ponder that one for a while.
…
If you look at our graphic map, you’ll start to see an obvious pattern to where anal toys are sold. On the other hand, perhaps you will spot a trend that is less obvious. For us? The clearest pattern is … weather!
Alaska, Vermont, New Hampshire… they all share one thing in common: long winters, and many dark, dark nights. It makes sense that folks who have to endure the endless days of snow and cold turn to warm nights in bed and explore the limits of what can be done there. Add in the fact that Maine, Massachusetts, Montana and Minnesota also indulge in the anal toy habit, you can really see a pattern.
However, that does not explain outliers like California or Virginia or why some states do not show much of a penchant for anal toys at all (although in some cases, such as Alabama, where it’s actually against the law to sell sex toys, well, it’s easy to figure out).
So, what is your theory? Is it a Red State vs. Blue State thing? What other patterns can you see here? Tell us your idea, and the staff here at MyPleasure.com will select their favorite one and reward that person with a $25 gift certificate!
Take some time to look over the map and come up with your theories. While you are at it, maybe you can come up with an explanation of the popularity of anal toys in Washington, DC. Cause all the ones we come up are about how the politicians are all screwing everyone…
Well probably no one needs that many, but hey, why not? And that’s how many you’ve got right now if you’re using Sex Dice Evolved, the iPhone and Android app developed by MyPleasure. When we first created the app and decided to let users create and share their own dice, we really didn’t know if anyone would do this. So we’re very excited and we wanted to share some of our favorites.
If you’ve got the app, just grab the code to download any of these for free. You can see the full list at www.twitter.com/sexdice. But you’ve got to have the app if you want to play. What a great addition to your sex toys.
Here are some of our favorite user generated apps with their download codes. Comment below to tell us about your favorite.
Role Play Him/Her
(download code: 133)
Role Play Him/Her
Dan & Megan
(download code: 303)
Dan & Megan
Tease and Denial
(download code: 214)
Tease & Denial
Fantasies (download code: 196)
Fantasies
Fun Roulette (download code: 192)
Fun Roulette
We hope you enjoy these. Comment below to tell us about your favorite.
Don’t bother asking if it’s hot out there or if it’s you – you’re hot, but yes, it’s hot out there. Not only was this past June the hottest on record but so were the March, April and May proceeding it. You have every right to walk around half naked.
But if you’re going to do that you might as well get something out of it. Movie theaters and their cool, empty darkness are traditionally one of the best places to go in the blistering heat but who can afford theaters anymore? Instead get yourself a steamy rental, turn down the lights, crank up the air and get some ideas. Here are five scenes from films where the heat itself is a character that helps steam up the camera lens and make summer a little brighter.
1. Do The Right Thing- Spike Lee was already getting to be Spike Lee when he made the movie that would launch him to serious stardom in 1989. A sweltering New York summer makes tempers and racial tensions flare, but for a little while Mookie and Tina (played by Lee and Rosie Perez) find an oasis of cool thrills with a lot of naked skin and just a little bit of ice.
2. Fried Green Tomatoes- It’s not as overtly sexual as Spike and his ice cube…in fact there’s a certain ambiguity in the relationship between Idgie (Mary Stuart-Masterson) and Ruth (Mary-Louise Parker) in this 1991 film, but the chemistry between them is as sultry as a Southern accent on a summer day and the way in which Idgie charms the bees into giving up their honey for her to give to Ruth will charm any sensualist or romantic as well.
3.The Seven-Year Itch- Ah, yes, the cool, cool breeze of the subway on a summer night that inspired what might be the most famous image in pop culture history: Marilyn Monroe and her white dress blowing up around her thighs and showing us her historic 1955-era gams. The scene is more charming than nasty but it’s a classic and the thought of that breeze going up her dress can get your mind to thinking that would feel delicious…
4. Fast Times at Ridgemont High- She was every high school boy’s inspiration (to do what we don’t really need to say, do we?) in 1982 when she climbed out of the pool in her red bikini and walked straight into their dreams. Even though it was just a fantasy (and ended in some serious humiliation comedy for poor Judge Reinhold) the future Mrs. Kevin Kline dripping her way into cinematic history is still one of sexiest summer scenes of all time.
5. Body Heat- This 1981 Florida thriller starring William Hurt and Kathleen Turner is often cited for it’s electric sex scenes as well as it’s gripping story. Kathleen Turner was one of the sexiest women ever to burn up the screen and the chemistry between her and the young William Hurt is seriously wicked. Interestingly enough taking a cold shower (or in their case a bath) only serves to make things warmer…warmer….red hot.
About Liz Langley
Liz Langley is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in about 20 publications – to see more go to www.lizlangley.com. Liz is a regular contributor to MyPleasure.com.
A couple of years ago a friend showed me a book called “Porn for Women.” Instead of featuring the classic hunk-showing-junk photos ala Playgirl this comic take portrayed attractive young men doing things like vacuuming the floor, washing dishes and listening attentively.
Cute. Clever. But a new survey has bourne it to be a prescient piece of psychological wisdom. A survey by appliance manufacturer DeLonghi indicated that just under half of women surveyed said helping around the house was a romantic turn-on and most would prefer a little help with the ironing to going out for a nice dinner.
If you’re hesitant to take the word of an appliance company that housework is sexy, how about academia? From a 2007 piece on MSNBC:
“According to a May 2007 in American Journal of Public Health, a guy who pulls his own weight around the house isn’t just hot, he’s a boon for his lady’s health.
Researchers at the American University of Beirut studied 1,652 married couples and found that wives whose husbands were minimally involved in housework were 60 percent more likely to be distressed, three times more likely to be uncomfortable with their husbands, and more than twice as likely to be unhappy.. “
And a happy person is far more likely to be a horny person.
One thing not really well-covered in either story, though, is why. Why, for heaven’s sake, would a little ironing be hotter than dinner out on the town?
Well, those little gestures are signs of caring and of valuing the other person’s time and happiness. When you take a moment to do a little chore for someone, partner or otherwise, it shows you’ve put some thought into what they might need instead of what you would like to do for them. You’re willing to take time to stop for groceries so they can get home a little earlier and relax. You get up and make the coffee so it will be there when they wake up. Especially with times as tough as they are, feeling just a little more cared for goes a long, long way.
As for the classic romance gestures, chocolates are lovely but not tons of time or creativity go into buying them – it’s the romantic version of rubber stamping. Candlelit dinners are fabulous – but if your partner has worked all day and had to do laundry immediately on arrival at home they’re going to be too tired to dress up or might fall asleep in their miso soup. Better to do the laundry for them –then they’ll have a lot more energy and desire when the lights go out. Survey sez.
About Liz Langley
Liz Langley is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in about 20 publications – to see more go to www.lizlangley.com. Liz is a regular contributor to MyPleasure.com.
About a week ago we asked some great bloggers about how they pick out sex toys for their private playtime. We know that figuring out what the perfect toy is for you can be daunting. There are hundreds, even thousands, to choose from and everybody is different. MyPleasure.com has worked hard at perfecting our Find Your Perfect Sex Toytool to help make this process a lot easier.
From the sound of it . . . we need to keep working. That doesn’t mean it is all bad news. The tool chose a gorgeous toy for Holly Ord from Woman Tribune that she had her eye on but the material proved a bit too inflexible for her liking. We learned some great insights about describing the materials we offer. Angie from A Simple Kind of Life got a great toy from the tool but was eager to see even more refinements. The lovely Sarahbear at SexyBySarah was thrilled about how easy it was to use this expert shopping tool and the massage products that were recommended. Lastly, Amy at Taste Like Crazy, loved the toy that the tool helped her select. In fact she said it was better than the one she picked on her own.
We are learning a lot from this experience and are taking notes from every one we work with in order to improve the experience. If you have used our expert shopping tool please let us know and email support@mypleasure.com or leave a comment here. Also if you are interested in a test run of your own and want to help our educators enrich everyone’s sex lives, try the shopping tool yourself and let us know. You can find us here, on twitter and facebook.
Oh . . . and come back often for updates on how our Find Your Perfect Sex Toy tool can improve your sex life.
Prostate play is getting a lot of attention (as are, hopefully, the prostates themselves), but they’re still hidden away when it comes to our sexual education. Let’s face it – prostates are tucked away inside the body, hard to figure out for those of us that want to play with them, and unfortunately still part of the shame-based response to anal play for men. So, to keep you all well-versed on P-spots, I offer these ten facts…
